To trust is to love Him

      Oh if you only knew how much I struggle with this. Well, you are about to...
I am a lady of many passions, many dreams, goals, aspirations, and risks. I chase after challenges and seemingly impossible or strange tasks, like I have something to prove. I change my mind recklessly and i'm indecisive to a fault. I dread going home and getting asked the question, "So what are you majoring in now?" I always seem to have a new answer. It's not like I want it this way. I'd much rather have it all figured out and give everyone a clear cut response of exactly what I plan to do in this life. But that isn't me. I was born to explore.
            So here I am in Arkansas. Why? I'd be lying if I gave you an elaborate explanation. I'm here solely because it is the first stop God led me to in post high school life. It has been a growing experience, mostly enlightening, sometimes daunting, usually enjoyable. I've switched my major four times in the two years i've been here. I am currently a biology major who abhors science. I know it makes little sense. But nothing I do really makes a lot of sense.
            So i'm at a crossroads. One consistent thing God has shown me is that I have a heart for people (general, but consistent nonetheless). I love to be with those who are hurting, poor, vulnerable, in need of help. I long to be a hero, sacrifice, and make a difference. I want to do something that matters.
       I am driven, I am not afraid to work hard. I am not afraid to struggle and learn from my mistakes. I've reached the point where I am okay with whatever option God truly gives me. I have to make the decision every morning to trust Him and to ask for discernment. I know that He knows me so much better than I know myself, so why wouldn't I choose to trust him with my plans?
        In the end, my most important purpose is to spread the gospel. I am called to be a disciple and to disciple others. My greatest desire should be to share God's truth and love. He is the one and only constant in my life. He is intimate and perfect. He knows all of my dreams and puts even my best ones to shame. So whenever I struggle with my tomorrow, I stop and give him my today.